To take a line from Bridget Jones, icon of the single gal in the city, the English, less polished Carrie Bradshaw:
"At times like this continuing with one's life seems impossible and eating the entire contents of one's
fridge seems inevitable. I have two choices: To give up and accept permanent state of spinsterhood and eventual eating by wild dogs...or not. And this time I choose not."
I remember watching Bridget Jones in college and loving it. Bridget was the girl every girl secretly thought she was: clever, funny, slightly awkward but in an endearing way and capable of landing a man like Mark Darcy and (now I think most importantly) surrounded by an amazing group of friends. (I would kill for gay Gaius Baltar to be my besty!)
I would watch this movie over and over, especially when I was studying abroad in London, it just seemed so fitting and I knew, I just knew that I was going to have a life like Bridget's because hers was so hilariously flawed but also somehow perfect.
In the last 4 years my life hasn't gone as I expected. I didn't get my dream job in publishing, I fell out of love with my college boyfriend of 4 years and broke up. Things started to really look up though when I finally got a very good job that I surprisingly loved working in advertising. Around this time I met another man. I knew positively this was real love, I had never loved anyone like him before...and then I just didn't anymore. I lost my job and realized I was falling out of love with this newest boyfriend of 2 years again, so I picked up and moved to San Francisco and eventually broke up with him. And through all of this I just have felt like I've let myself down. I'm 28 years old and starting all over again and I've started looking back on my old posts and writings and realize I've let young me down. I feel that 21 year old me, optimistic, beautiful, so excited for the future would look at me now, where I'm at, and be so disappointed.
But, tonight (after a couple glasses of Scotch) I put on my old friend, Bridget Jones' Diary and realized she's more like me now than ever, this girl that I idolized but didn't really understand when I was 21. I thought the be all end all of the movie was Bridget falls in love with the perfect Mark Darcy when really, it was about her, as a 30 something not letting anything dampen her outlook. She continually picks herself up, starts over and does not let herself be defeated.
"That's not a good enough offer for me...I'm still looking for something more extraordinary than that."